Having friends and family around is so important. I didn't know just how important for most of my life. I adore my friends and family. They set my head straight when I am loosing my marbles, and they aren't afraid to tell me what they really think even though it may hurt. They don't criticize and they don't lie. I thank so many people for being there for me through thick and thin... even though sometimes I don't deserve it :)
This has been an amazing weekend. One I won't ever forget. I got to spend time with so many people that care about me & my little family... and I of course care about them all. There's nothing better than getting the kids fast asleep after a loooong day & sitting by a fire till 3AM. I wish nights like that happened so much more often. It was so nice to look at stars, feel the warmth of the fire on my face, and talk heart felt conversations with those who are in the same place as I am. Listening to others hopes and dreams, fears, and demons has made me realize I am NOT alone. Not alone in the least. Everything I go through they go through with me.
It's also made me realize that things could be so much worse. Things aren't bad at all really. Lilyana Lee is an AMAZING little girl. So happy, so smart, so devilishly funny, so caring, so cheesy at times. There is nothing WRONG with her at all, she just needs some extra attention & support & love... and hey, who doesn't?! I know that things may be a little difficult with her having PDD. It's NOT the end of the world. It's not life threatening. I will still get to wake up seeing my Lily bee's radiant smile, eyes full of sleep, saying "good morning mommy"every single day. I get to tuck her in at night, kiss her, and say sweet dreams to her every night. Nothing is going to change. She's still mommies baby girl. My special girl that made me a mommy.
I was doing what I didn't want anyone else to do. Judging her, looking for any little thing to say "oh I see what the doc's meant now". I was looking at her differently. Having some sense talked into helped so much. All of her aunts & uncles... Santa Cruz side & Samples side have ALL told me to stop dwelling and get on with it. Stop living in fear and stop treating her different, and move on. All I can say is they are right to a point. I am going to stop the negative out look and focus on the positive. I am going to do what I have to do with Lou Bee.
I think it's going to be a bad night. She went to bed very agitated and irritable. We'll see. Hopefully the Clonidine works tonight and she sleeps well. She had a busy day with her cousins & Grammy at the gem show. Lily even picked out her own little rock fish and rock donkey.
Thank you everyone. I truly love my family (Samples/Santa Cruz) & my friends.