Miracles happen every day...

Miracles happen every day...

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Not sure what to do...

I have been thinking a lot about going back to work. In a way I really want to, just so I can say I do my part. I am NOT knocking SAHM's in any way. I am a SAHM. I am just saying that I am tired of being told "no, we can't afford it...., I want this....., do you really need that?....., they do not NEED it". Of course ben loves his kids. That's totally a given, BUT.... as everyone can be, he's selfish at times. Were barely staying a float, borrowed A LOT of money from my MIL. So the question I keep asking myself is... should I go back to work?

When does it become my responsibility to help my husband out & take some stress off of him? We have food, water, cable (basic), phones, and a car... yep, we do.... BUT we can't afford the extras & we can't afford my sons B-day party the 10th, and we def can't afford Christmas. I know there are those of you who say "make it happen, pull it out of your ass etc..." Well the problem is that we just can't. We have absolutely no savings, no nest egg, no cushion, and literally nothing left over after paying bills. The $200.00 a month the state of AZ gives me & thinks is enough for food isn't. YES I am grateful, but it's really not near enough. I spend $150-200 a week on food. WOW... so....

Should I go back to work???
I think so, but I do not want to put Lilyana & Wyatt in day care, nor could I afford day care. I am kinda stuck in a sense. I know I could work weekends, and that's ok. But I'd never see Ben. So it's a toss up. I want to do what's best for my family. I want to try very hard to keep us afloat & help. I keep thinking I need the time away from the kids, and home, and I need to feel like something else other than a mommy.

Then why does the thought scare me to death and give me butterflies? UGH!!! 


  1. I can totally understand your dilemna. I'm sure you know that you DO contribute to the household! You take care of the kids, you feed and clothe them. You nurture and teach them everyday. As far as bringing in money, I totally get it. I think you have to look at the pro's and cons of it. Can you afford daycare if you go back to work? Will it take what extra you make to pay for the childcare? Do you trust that others will take care of your children the way you want them to be taken care of? I don't think it's ever an easy decision. Maybe sit down adn talk to Ben about it. What does he think? I'll keep you guys in my prayers. Love ya girlie! <3 Ree

  2. I have had this same dillemma. i wasnt sure if i should get a job either but when we were this close to having things cut off i knew there was no other choice.

    as far as daycare goes, it's not as bad as you think. i taught preschool and worked in daycare for five years. If you know what to look for and what to expect and what questions to ask you could find a really good one. And if you happen to decide to go with an in home sitter, just let me say, i have had horrible I quit after two weeks luck (5 sitters all summer or struggling to find a sitter because mine decided to take a vacation or had a sick day or whatever BAD BAD idea for me...maybe not you)

    I just put lil b in daycare. Because he was a preemie i didnt want to. But the truth is he is doing amazing Mollie rose went into daycare when she was 11 months old and because she was in daycare for a long time she was able to develop the skills she needed including social skills to be ready for kindergarten and not just kindergarten but she was tested into kindergarten an entire year early. the cut off in ohio is sept 30th and she is october 3rd so she is literally a whole year younger than everybody.

    it's really up to you and your husband. but struggling the way that you have where you have barely anything nothing in savings nothing for emergencies ect living like that is stressful and while men have the attitude to provide and take care of it all as their jobs, it's also a shared responsibility. (im definately gonna get u out a letter.)

    I just wanted to give u my two cents that daycare is not as bad as it seems. It has been the best decision for me for both my kidds. Lil b wasnt eating or bottle breaking and now hes a big 18 month old big man and thinks he rules the world. and colds, he doesnt get anymore colds out of daycare than he does in so thats not the thing. hes developing skills he just wasnt getting being with an inhome provider and not being around kids his own age. you would be amazed how fast they learn.

    hope u figure it out...

    plus being in the company of grownups is sometimes a really good thing. It helps you feel less stressed.
    Stay at home mommies are great but sometimes it's just not the best choice.

  3. Thanks ladies for all the input. I really appreciate it. I am going to try to get my head together 1st then maybe look for a job. I really would love to wait till after the holidays because I wanna be home w/the kiddos on Thanksgiving & Christmas.